Here and Now

Thank God, I didn't get what I wanted…instead what I received was peace. I was a trained overthinker, nah, even worse a pro at it…thought this jugglery on a tightrope of my mindscape was moulding me into a spiritual being… but all it did was grind me to dust and inflated my ego… I do not know if god exists …or that there may be a mysterious universal force at play…what i know for sure is there is peace in the current moment…inside the full awareness of my being is where I have felt alive…being human and vulnerable…flawed and fragile. Thank God! I say out loud and how ironic too, when i take a deep belly breath and feel utterly grateful to be living…just as I am and for things being just as they are…. No more I find fun in chasing meaning in happenings or deciphering events for their mystic messages or believing in spiritual upliftment... in fact the power and peace I strived for all along was right inside me, here and now.